Posts Tagged ‘fear’

fantasy_castle_by_neptunnia-d6373u7

Castle of Pain

Emptiness surrounds a hollow place that once teamed with life.

Where there was once energy and laughter there is now only fierce decay.

Intense, impassioned conversations that once took just a few minutes

Now linger fractious for what can seem like hours.

Walls are erected brick by brick, the reinforced stone barriers defending the precious darkness within.

I fight hard with every weapon to break through, trying to cast a stray ray of light to ignite the dried up embers in waiting.

Sometimes at night, cracks form within the ice that encase the cold deserted battlements,

Only to freeze once again in the dawn sunlight of each new day.

A deep loneliness wells inside, overwhelming all that which dares to be good.

An impassioned healer in desperate need of healing herself.

Fears of being hurt forces the fragile secrets to stay safely locked inside.

Vulnerability is no option, the resulting pain just kills too much.

Until the strength is found to lower the drawbridge, life will never truly be lived again.

A clipped winged Angel, resting wearily in the darkness, too scared to free its crying soul.

Angels Words

Posted: April 23, 2017 in Dark Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

angel

ANGELS WORDS

A realm of tiny voices spear you from all directions,

Feeding doubts and anxiety, an escalation of madness.

A path once clear seems now hopelessly complex.

Everyone wants, everyone takes, what about you?

A feint in the dark for something to reach out too.

A drive for something better.

Can it be that anyone really cares for you, the things you need?

You doubt all those around you, clawing for a piece.

Those allies you once cared for now slowly ushered away.

Who to trust?

Who to care for?

Will anyone stand the course?

Being alone is so much easier, no need to care, only be.

With eyes closed and heart crated safely you take the leap.

Stretching your fear to the brink of a righteous dare.

*****

A lone voice calls out.

Truth from beyond.

Follow the angels words.

He will guide you home.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Velvet-Dreams-Jonathan-Martin-ebook/dp/B009JUVNNU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421331246&sr=8-1&keywords=velvet+dreams+-+jonathan+martin

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Velvet-Dreams-Jonathan-Martin-ebook/dp/B009JUVNNU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421331246&sr=8-1&keywords=velvet+dreams+-+jonathan+martin

Download my third book Velvet Dreams for free on Amazon from Tomorrow! Offer only on until Tuesday so don’t delay! See link below:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Velvet-Dreams-Jonathan-Martin-ebook/dp/B009JUVNNU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421331246&sr=8-1&keywords=velvet+dreams+-+jonathan+martin

Forced to move on
Reluctantly crawling forwards
Haunted by a myriad of uncertainties
So much I just don’t know
Will I ever?
Never know!

When the eyes are clouded
The path forward is slowed
Creeping on nervously moving in the dark
Brain frozen in a tireless loop
Playing scenario after scenario
But only one knows the truth

We need to clear the air
release the haze hanging over us
Allow me to see again
Feel again
Hear again
Speak again

A friendship there for the taking
No agenda’s
No guilt
No broken promises
Only giggles, laughs
and friendly smiles

Lets release the demons
Walk away from the skeletons
Close the door on the doubt
Put to bed any fears
Turn on the lights
No more moving in the dark

No More

Posted: May 15, 2014 in Dark Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Break the silence
Kill the fears
Speak the truth
Expel the tears
Release the anger
Free the rage
Harm the self
Serate your cage
Take the beating
You’ve lost the fight
Now close your eyes
Sleep at last tonight

…Eternal

One Living Mistake

Idiot fool
Mistake after mistake
How can always trying to do the right thing
Always turn out so wrong
How to know when its right to be true to your heart?
Your mind?
Your soul?
I never seem to get it right
I just cause hurt
To others
To myself
A rollercoaster of pain
When I’m happy
I throw it away like worthless rubbish
Then drown in the regret that follows
Always leaving it too late
Living in fear
Too scared to say what’s true until the moments gone
A few weeks ago I used to like myself
Now sorrow makes me wish I was no-where to be found
With luck I shall sleep tonight

Hello 🙂

I decided to try doing my first ever video and well here’s the result. The poem is an old favourite of mine that I wrote a few years ago and I think this little video breaths some fresh haunting life back in to it. If you enjoy this poem and wish to read some of my older material please take a look at the My Books section on this blog where you’ll be able to find links to download 3 of my dark poetry anthologies through Amazon.

Hope you enjoy the video.

Music: Mars by Misha Mishenko

AS THE CANDLE SLOWLY MELTS

I wearily close my eyes, as the darkness of night falls,

On yet another lonely day, trapped again within these walls.

I reach out to light a candle, and watch intently at its flame,

As the playful dancing light, seems to whisper out my name.

Calling me forever closer, pulling me now further in,

As I drift of to dream, from this tortured world of sin.

Consumed by the fire, releasing up my soul,

As my mind seems to wander, in a state of lost control.

In these moments of distraction, that my sanity’s now dealt,

The hours pass like seconds, as the candle slowly melts.

In a corner of my mind, the distant future’s what I glimpse,

Of a hell made in heaven, in a blood red rinse.

Where the angels of the Devil, scream violently in pain,

Their enduring satisfaction, redeeming pleasure as their gain.

Like the decaying of a corpse, or rose petals as it wilts,

The hours pass like seconds, as the candle slowly melts.

As I see beyond illusion, reality slips in again unseen,

These moments of gratification, alas was just a dream.

As I struggle against temptation, self preservation’s what I fight,

But this battle’s nearly over, and the end must fall tonight.

So as this burning mass of wax, nears the end of its belt,

My life will soon be over, as the candle slowly melts.

Have you ever had that feeling that you’re not alone?

Shadow On My Shoulder

Sam entered her bedroom slamming the door behind her with a tear in her eye. Yet another fight with her overbearing mother. Sam was 16 now, all she wanted to do was go hang out with her friends a little late on Saturday, there was going to be a party, everyone else was going to be there. Why should she be forced to miss out?

When Sam had tried to fight her case her mother had simply scolded her, telling her to grow up and stop acting like a child. I am a child, whats your excuse Sam thought, but she was wise enough to keep her views to herself. She knew her mum too well, it was only 5 pm and she could already smell the wine on her breath. Her mum could be a mean drunk.

Sam threw herself face down on her bed, smothering her head deep into a pillow with frustration. With no effort at all and without even looking, Sam reached out to a remote resting atop her bedside table and turned on her music just like she’d done hundreds of times before. Sappy teenage pop tunes echoed from the somewhat tinny speakers, another corporate boy band droning out yet another cover of a some long forgotten classic that should have remained fervently in the past. Sam knew the song well and quickly found herself humming along, it was actually one of her favourites and always helped to calm her down and make her feel better.

Half way though another searing verse Sam heard a noise from her closet, the sound of a metal coat hanger falling against a hard surface. She immediately rolled to her side to stare at the partially open closet door and she momentarily froze. Out of the corner of her vision she thought she’d seen a black figure just out of sight. Sam alertly sat up on her bed and slowly surveyed the room looking for anything out of place, but all seemed normal.

Sam had often had the feeling that she was not alone, the feeling that someone was watching her even when no other breathing soul was in the house. Originally she had found this quite disconcerting and when she was really young her mum had written it off as Sam having some sort of imaginary friend, just another example of how little attention her mother had ever really paid to her. The fact that these experiences had often left Sam scared and crying seemed to not even register with her so called loving parent. To her it had simply been a case of  childish attention seeking.

Over the years though Sam had actually began to find some strange sort of comfort in the feeling, especially as she had grown older and come to realise that no harm had actually come to her. To Sam it had almost felt like someone was always there, looking out for her and protecting her, something she’d always felt she’d lacked from her own bloke and drink obsessed mother. Sam had even given the presence a name, to her it was just good ole Norman,  a kind elderly gent. Sam had never known her grandparents as they’d died long before she was born so this seemed like her way of imagining what it might be like to have one of them around at least.

Sam spoke out, ‘Hello Norman, how’s things?’

Sam’s enquiry was met with the usual empty silence. Then a faint breeze seemed to gently whistle through the room causing some of her clothes resting on hangers to flutter gently. Sam just smiled and chuckled to herself. ‘Good night Norm’. With that she switched off the music, flicked of the lights and jumped into bed.

At 4 am Sam was disturbed as her mother stumbled back into the house, she’d been having a bit of a session at a local trendy bar and seemed to have met a new friend while she was there. A man in his early thirties helped her inside with friendly hands, his female companion at least 10 years his senior.

‘Why thank you kind sir.’

‘You’re welcome, it’s a lovely ass to behold after all! Anything else I can help you with?’

Sam’s mother pulled her latest find close to her and started to kiss him passionately. As they fumbled with the buttons on each others clothes she suddenly had to pull away, almost losing her balance in the process. ‘I don’t feel too well’, she announced and with that she dashed into the downstairs washroom. Within seconds the muffled sound of violent wretching echoed throughout the house.

‘Fucking great!’ exclaimed the man.

As he picked up his coat from the floor ready to make his exit Sam came down the stairs wearing no more than a little white night dress.

‘What the hell’s going on here?’ Sam exclaimed. ‘And who the hell are you?’

The man turned and smiled. ‘Well hello there, I’m Don. Now ain’t you a pretty thing.’

‘Yeah right, whatever. Where’s mum?’

‘Well she’s kinda had a few to drink, she’s just erm, relieving herself in the bathroom.’

‘Fucking great.’ Sam turned around and started to make her way up the stairs back to bed. As she returned to her room Don followed her with his eyes. He’d figured he’d come all this way to have a little fun, maybe if the mother wasn’t in a condition for it, he might be able to entertain her young nubile daughter.

Don started to make his way up the stairs to Sam’s room and gently opened the door. As he did Sam jumped from the bed, got into his face and confronted him ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing in here?’ With that Don grabbed her wrists. ‘Hey now, no need to be like that, I was just thinking you might be up for a little bit of fun.’

Sam tried to struggle free but Don was persistent ‘Let me go’, she screamed.

Don though was beyond talking, he knew exactly what he wanted and was planning to make sure he got it. Sam doing all she could to force a release spat straight into Don’s face, but he simply laughed and forced Sam up against the wall. He began to kiss her and rub his horny body against hers. He then pinned both her hands against the wall with one hand while with the other he began caressing the  inner thigh of the young girl. ‘Very nice, you’re going to enjoy this.’ Don sneered.

Sam now defenseless feverishly tried moving her head  from side to side, doing all she could to evade the kiss stealing lips of her assailant. As she did so she saw a shadow forming in the corner of the room, a figure of a man, an elderly man, but of pure shadow.

‘Help me’ Sam screamed.

Almost instantly a metal coat hanger flung across the room by the hand of the shadow man impaling it’s metal hook deep into the throat of the randy would be rapist and showering a terrified Sam in warm crimson blood.

Panicked, Sam screamed out and hurriedly backed away from the choking body of the dying man. From the direction of the shadowy figure Sam’s coat was flung over to her but when she turned to look to the shadow, the elderly man, her beloved Norm nothing was there.

Sam needing to get away, threw on her coat and raced down the stairs out the house to make her escape.

The next day Sam’s mother awoke from her drunken stuper to find her daughter missing, no sign of the man she came back with and some rather puzzling faded red stains on her daughters bedroom wall. As she scanned the room she thought she’d seen something, a shadow, for a moment she paused in disbelief as a feint breeze whistled through the room ‘Dad is that you?’