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Lost to the Grey

Posted: November 29, 2014 in Dark Poetry
Tags: , , , , , ,

Lost to the Grey

The grey sea drags me under,
Flailing limbs fight out under a facade of deceptive calmness
I shan’t prevail
My will seeping beneath the solemn waves
Embracing the anticipation that all may soon be still
No heart or soul left to lose
Long decayed to the dust that shall soon be washed away
Conscious thoughts breaking away overpowering guilt tainting the moment
As I let myself let go into the suductive grey darkness
May this greatest of sins be finally washed away

Forced to move on
Reluctantly crawling forwards
Haunted by a myriad of uncertainties
So much I just don’t know
Will I ever?
Never know!

When the eyes are clouded
The path forward is slowed
Creeping on nervously moving in the dark
Brain frozen in a tireless loop
Playing scenario after scenario
But only one knows the truth

We need to clear the air
release the haze hanging over us
Allow me to see again
Feel again
Hear again
Speak again

A friendship there for the taking
No agenda’s
No guilt
No broken promises
Only giggles, laughs
and friendly smiles

Lets release the demons
Walk away from the skeletons
Close the door on the doubt
Put to bed any fears
Turn on the lights
No more moving in the dark

The swirl of fragmented hopes
Crippled dreams
Vibrantly happy memories
Heartfelt words
All crash to a chorus of tears

Loss is a cruel mistress
Regretful ill considered choices
A heart violently raped
Void of the blissful happiness
That once kept it strong

The lunacy of silence
A soul held in contempt
Unknowingly why
Words will they ever be spoken?
How to converse when only one will speak?

Her beauty captured my heart
Her happy laugh my soul
Her loving smile etched forever
In my eyelids as I sleep
In my nightmares as I cry

Yet through all the pain
I’d do it all again
Regardless of the ending
For those times were the happiest
And the most loved I’ve known

Release…

No More

Posted: May 15, 2014 in Dark Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Break the silence
Kill the fears
Speak the truth
Expel the tears
Release the anger
Free the rage
Harm the self
Serate your cage
Take the beating
You’ve lost the fight
Now close your eyes
Sleep at last tonight

…Eternal

Give me a second

A moment of peace

A break from the hurting

For all pain to cease

A rest from regret

And self blame to pass

A lull to the heartache

Pause the nightmare at last

Give me a second

Please that’s all I ask

Then a little longer tomorrow

So I can lay down this mask

Wasteland

A desolate place

A land once so vibrant, active, alive

Now lies in ruins, empty, silent

The weeds have already started to spread and grow

Consuming the last tell tale signs that this once was a happy place

Decaying remnents of memories crumbling to dust

Echos of laughter and fun fading into nothingness

The happy faces long gone

Sweet tasting air turned bitter

Regretful decisions born from fear and confusion

Demonised and polluted this once happy place

Thick mistrust clouding the once blue skies

Layered with doubts and misguided second guesses

Cracks form on the playground pavement

Chasms slowly forming

While buildings of happiness, love and friendship

Collapse under the burdening weight of life’s lost hope

Forgiveness has left and is nowhere to be found

Second chances simply a risk too far

Undeserving

Hopes crushed

A pessimistic mind ruled by an iron claw

This place once so joyful

Now lies cordoned and condemned

Broken

Lifeless

Torn

My now worthless heart!

One Living Mistake

Idiot fool
Mistake after mistake
How can always trying to do the right thing
Always turn out so wrong
How to know when its right to be true to your heart?
Your mind?
Your soul?
I never seem to get it right
I just cause hurt
To others
To myself
A rollercoaster of pain
When I’m happy
I throw it away like worthless rubbish
Then drown in the regret that follows
Always leaving it too late
Living in fear
Too scared to say what’s true until the moments gone
A few weeks ago I used to like myself
Now sorrow makes me wish I was no-where to be found
With luck I shall sleep tonight

Storm Front

A heavy storm fronts set in
Long gone are the beautiful rays of sun
All is now just overcast and grey
With no sign of it letting up anytime soon
Frequent showers of rain expected
At least no-one will see my tears